Did ya miss me? Did ya, did ya did ya? Well you have got to be five-finger F-ing me, I neglect to post for one day and Big Mac comes to the plate and drops an absolute pot shot. FML. I have to say though I have known that Mark did this for quite a while, and I believe that he absolutely felt remorse for breaking Roger Maris' single season home run record, and I even believe that he wanted to say something to Congress on that fateful day on Capitol Hill but his lawyer instructed him not to. But for you to say that the steroids you imbibed, ingested, or injected (call it what you will) didn't help you to hit home runs and ONLY helped you to recuperate you're far a bigger poser than I ever thought.
I'll tell you that I (although 10 years old) was so enamored by everything that Mark McGwire did. He was to baseball what Mickey Mantle was back in the 50's and 60's. Pure bread American boy Power house that every kid wants to be. But when you took the steroids to stay on the field because of your 'obligation' that was enhancing your performance. The body that "god gave you" couldn't withstand the physical and mental grind of a 162 game baseball season (not many people can) and you needed some sort of supplement to aid you in staying on the field to hit those homeruns that you didn't need steroids for. I'll give you that you could hit home runs before you got to the major leagues, and you MAYBE (this is pushing it) only took the steroids for recovery tactics but along with getting on the field quicker you are gaining more power. Don't be an idiot. If you did it you did it. But please don't skate the issue. There were some things that I believed in this interview like the general repentance towards your fans and others that you have affected because you are the likeable guy that everyone loved. But as likeable as you are Jose Canseco, although slimy, has been the only one that has told 100% of the truth on all accounts thus far. So, I think I'm going to side with the other bash brother for the time being on playing butt darts with syringes before games.
In the end, I've said this time and time again, what McGwire did was bring baseball back into the limelight. It was still in the abyss of the strike shortened season, and there were no world changing story lines, and there was no one ready to step into the forefront. Big Mac did that and that catapulted baseball into the juggernaut that it is today. So when America's Pastime is back at the head of the sporting world is it really a bad thing? I don't think so.
Now that we got that out of the way I had something awkward happen to me yesterday while I was busy avoiding all of my readers. Ya know how when you go to the bank you can either pull up to the ATM or you can pull up to "tube-teller" I call it? Well, I pulled up as tight to the tube as possible because me, being poor, the window in my car doesn't work very well, and I can't get my clunker fixed so I need to be close to the tube so I don't have to be real ghetto and open the car door for my transaction. So I roll the window down almost ¾ of the way before it starts to scream at me like a hyena and reach for the canister (most canisters are different but this one looks like the one the Ninja Turtles were trying to keep away from The Shredder in "Secret of the Ooze". Then being the bumbling oaf that I am (Hey I've lost around 9 lbs so far so lay off!) I dropped the canister when I didn't turn it to fit in the (just big enough) window opening and I dropped it.
Now we have the issue, that I'm so close to the tube chute that I can't open the door. So I figure that the canister has fallen underneath my car but since there were no cars behind me I figured I'd just pull up some, then grab the canister and back up back to the tube. Well there was really nothing of this plan that came to fruition. It definitely fell under my car but what I couldn't see inside the car was that it was perfectly inline with my back wheel. I pulled forward and tried to open my door but was not far enough forward to open my door so I pull up some more and absolutely obliterate the canister. I crushed it like a fat kid stepping on a PEZ. Then when I go to grab it some joker comes FLYING up behind me to take my spot so now I can't back up to the tube. So now I'm picking up tons of plastic and I have the teller's in the bank laughing hysterically at me, and some douche bag that looks like Burl Ives has now commandeered my spot in line.
I finish picking up the pieces and pulled back around to cash the 35 $ check that I had set out to cash before this debacle. The teller looks me dead in the eye and tells me that the canister is about 35 dollars so he'll just take what I was going to cash and put it in the bank's bank account. I look at him with a blank stare and he starts heartily laughing (think Santa Claus) and then informs me he was joking. Everyone's a comedian.
Stay Tuned
Ryan
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