Like Billy Bob from Varsity Blues said in a drunken stammer, "I'm Back! Puking Rally."
While I'm hoping the need to regurgitate doesn't come up when reading this installment I am indeed back for the next 3 days and we'll have another hiatus until full-time hob-knobbing fun ensues. While it's said that the Mets are the frontrunners for Jason Bay's services in the 2010 season, but me along with Peter Gammons think he'd "rather playin Beiruit than Queens," which leaves only a few teams that are in need of a left fielder. But something tells me that Bay is going to be back in Boston, which is a good thing, but it's going to be a heavily back-loaded contract so they can stay under the cap. And as we all know that would open trade season again. I don't know exactly who that player is because Adrian Gonzalez is indeed looking more and more unlikely, but I have to believe that they aren't going to have 4 starting outfielders on their roster.
So other than people signing reclamation projects (Duchscherer and Escobar) not much happened over the long weekend, and to say that I'm surprised is sort of an understatement, but I don't have much baseball to talk about other than this. So you get to hear about the Yule Tide shitshow around my parts.
Christmas Eve. It's supposed to be the time to spread all sorts of holiday cheer. Well my car apparently didn't get the memo. Wifey pulls into the yard about 3 hours before the Christmas party with steam pouring out of the hood. Upon further inspection there was no antifreeze in the vehicle, but that would seem like an easy fix, aka pour more antifreeze into the well. Whence we arrived at the party, steam once again starts inundating the hood because now i have realized that there is no antifreeze once again and have concluded that here is a leak in a hose. So, with a few FML's and WTF's followed by half a handle of Captains I quickly forgot about it until I realized that 4 people don't fit into a 2 (occasionally 3 person truck).
Now I've been bumming rides off people like a hobo, when it's most likely a simple hose that needs to be replaced yet I'm about as automotively illiterate as Charlie Sheen is celibate. But hey let's not be a Debbie Downer, let's get to the gifts:
Best Gift: Hard Copy Edition of the inaugural season of: Bottom of the Ninth by Ryan Norton (Me!)
This was not just an innovative gift but when you are completely not expecting something from one of your dedicated readers, this is truly a great friend and even more heartfelt gift. Grade: A+
Worst Gift: A T-shirt with sideways writing saying, "I'm laughing at you while you read this with your head like that."
Really don't think this one is my kind of shirt, but it was coupled with an ass mouse pad that used the ass as a wrist rest. The ass made the gift a smidge more desirable which is precisely why I re-gifted it (Just the pad, I'm stuck with the shirt). Grade: D+.
This was a highly uneventful group of days off, could be because half the time I was in a Cheech and Chong like haze from all the rum (and no rum is not code for weed) and today I'm so physically exhausted from the first physical exertion since I tore my ACL. And to further explain to you how tired I am its like seeing Nicole Scherzinger naked and having your dick tell you, "Go Fuck yourself." Yeah, i'm that kind of Bushed.
Stay Tuned
Ryan
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