As most of you know 'Rumblings' usually inhabit Friday's blog. And while there will be a limited amount of bullet points for you're liking, you need to understand that these are the deepest, sometimes darkest, thoughts in my mind. And since I didn't think too much this week, that makes for a very difficult blog post. So I figured afterwards, because I can't leave you with slop, I'll dissect the Tiger Interview. Good nuff? Shall we?
- So, Dante Stallworth has a job. And surprise, surprise, he is now with another murder, Ray Lewis. Rampant Ravens, anyone?
- I'm going to call out Simon Cowell and the rest of the American Idol Judges. They made a mistake. Shelby Dressel should have been in the 'Top 24'. Not only should she have been there because of her voice but Sex Sells suckas, and she's got my libido goin.
- I've decided that if you start ANY sentence with "Bitches be…" and then insert any verb or adjective it's hilarious. Bitches be shoppin' ala Dave Chappelle works great. Bitches be frontin' is one of my personal favorites. Try it out let me know what you come up with.
- As for 90's Show of the Week- I'm going to go with, Salute Your Shorts for only because I saw a movie that had "Donkey Lips" in it the other day. Camp Onawanna I've always had you in my heart.
- We're going to go with Anna Paquin for this week's Bombshell. I'd comment on her but I really need to clean up the mess that my uh, dog made. Yeah that my dog made. She's come a long way since Fly Away Home.
So I listened to the Tiger interview and I was for the most part impressed. He didn't deflect any blame whatsoever and genuinely acted with contrition when apologizing to his wife. There were a couple parts I don't believe for a second however:
"We have never had any domestic violence in our relationship"- Ahhh, the oldest trick in the book. Come to the defense of your wife so she doesn't wallop you with a 2nd dose of nine iron. Well played. There is not a snowball's chance in hell that you look like that much shit and she didn't de-face your ass with that club. But I have to applaud the effort. Keep living the dream. As a small aside…check this picture. She rocked his shit, look under his nose, that scar didn't create itself. Honestly if you found out your significant other was popping other women like they were Skittles {insert 'Taste the Rainbow' joke here} not to mention unprotected, I'd go ape shit too. He should be lucky she didn't pull out a driver.
"I'm Buddhist"- Well fuck me sideways! That's what I needed to know! You're Buddhist, that explains everything. Give me a friggin break. I'm not sure about why anyone needed to know about how you were raised. Your discretions were clearly based on your fame now and I don't give a shit how Wing Wong Woods (his mother) raised him. If you want to go back to Shady Acres or whatever the hell the name of that Sex rehab place is go ahead…honestly I do not believe in sexual addiction; it's called evolution. Every guy is programmed to slay bitches, if you know what I mean. But when you're married you need to teach yourself to hone it in, if we can call it that. So honestly instead of going and throwing it in 7 hookers in a 45 minute period go cuff you're carrot until you go blind. Difficult to say when you have the means to have someone do it for you but honestly man.
Other than those two points I thought everything else was genuine. The anguish (not the scar) on his face looked real. And the anger he showed when addressing PED's, his kids, his wife and his mother seemed authentic as well. That's what I gathered but I'm also the same person that thought Rafael Palmiero was hands down telling the truth in front of Congress. Meh, that worked out well too eh?
Stay Tuned
Ryan
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