Baseball Movie Melee

I'd apologize for the lack of post yesterday, but I was literally answering phones and letters from all the single women that flooded my inboxes when they heard I was no longer on the market. Tough break. Anyway, like anything I usually say, something I posted on Facebook over the weekend drew some controversy and I figured I'd elaborate on it. Baseball Movies, there are some good ones, and let's face it there are some shit ass flicks. I'll give you my top 5 on both ends of the spectrum. Let's start with the bad news, because it can only get better from there right.

My number 5 WORST baseball movie is: Fever Pitch.

Look, I love the Sox. Hell I even have a strange obsession with them. But this movie was flat out not good. They casted a born and bred New Yorker to play a Sox fanatic, anyone else see the problem here? On an unrelated side note Drew Barrymore has not made a good film since ET, and that's only because she said 2 words in that one.

My number 4 WORST baseball movie is: Summer Catch.

This is the flick I was unfortunately watching this weekend, but it was only so that I could watch Yes, Man which was immediately following it. To be honest, this movie wasn't bad until the end. Freddie Prinze is tossing a no-no and he decides to take himself out of the game to chase after Jessica Biel? I MAY give you Jessica Alba, but not Jessica Biel she is just not THAT hot. Next time finish the game, pus-bag.

My number 3 WORST Baseball movie is: Rookie of the Year.

Other than the one-liners by the doctor (ala "Funky Butt-loving") this movie didn't bring much to the table at all. Thomas Ian Nicholas' voice the entire movie was like what comes out of a chicken if you were to step on its neck. And need I point out that Gary Busey has NEVER made a good movie?

My number 2 WORST Baseball movie is: Angels in the Outfield.

I'll respond to this in two ways. The best part of the movie Saw, was that Danny Glover was killed. Was he killed in this? No? Therefore, no good. And Tony Danza is your diamond in the rough. He then attempted to play the loveable guy again in The Garbage-Picking, Field Goal-Kicking, Philadelphia Phenomenon, that worked out well.

The Number 1 WORST Baseball Movie is: Mr. 3000.

I have no words; this movie is flat out abysmal.

Sorry to bring you guys down a notch, but I'll give you the upper end of the spectrum.

My number 5 BEST baseball movie is: The Sandlot.

This movie not only embodies my childhood, but is iconic and infused with quotes and anecdotes that I still use to this day.

• You're Killin' Me Smalls
  
• The PF Flyers
  
• Wendy Peffercorn
  
• THE GREAT BAM-BEE-NO
  

Not only these timeless classics but if you want t a successful baseball movie, James Earl Jones needs to be in it. Bottom-line.

My number 4 BEST baseball movie is: 61*.

It is the only biopic on this list and for good reason. Barry Pepper and Thomas Jane played Maris and the Mick to a tee, and the baseball scenes were top-notch. Other than My Giant, has Billy Crystal ever made anything short of legendary.

My number 3 BEST baseball movie is: A League of Their Own.

Not only because this movie was the absolute-SHIT but when Jose Canseco calls out Mark McGwire using a line from you're movie you are AUTOMATICALLY slotted in my top 5. But seriously, Tom Hanks played the disgruntled, hard-nosed ex ball-player to a tee and Who doesn't like to see a young Madonna (Or a skinny Rosie?) in a skirt!

My number 2 BEST baseball movie is: Bull Durham.

This movie had the 3 B's that are essential in a baseball movie: Bitches, Booze, and Bombs. Kevin Costner was droppin F-Bombs and Big Fly's. Tim Robbins was throwin' pus and who doesn't love a small appearance by Tim "The Tool Man" Taylor's brother, Marty as a struggling minor leaguer. Kevin Costner is like a smaller version of the "James Earl Jones defense" from a few movies ago. This shit was good, Meat.

Last but Not Least, my number 1 BEST baseball movie is: Field of Dreams.

As I've already said you need to have James Earl Jones sighting. Kevin Costner is also present. Then you're going to throw in Joe Jackson sprinkled in with some Moonlight Graham? May have been over the top with that whole walking in a cornfield thing. But this isn't heaven, It's Iowa!

Stay Tuned

Ryan