That game was absolutely heinous. Smoltz was well, in a word, Carl Pavano. It's pretty telling that after they took the 11-4 lead I turned on the Disney Channel to watch the pre-pubescent Shia LaBeouf in "The Even Stevens Movie." I'm more ashamed to say that I was watching the Sox game last night.
First off, the Dave Roberts' experiment is working about as well as the John Smoltz trial (and error). At one point last night when Jed Lowrie struck out on three pitches Dave "The Steal" Roberts said this: "That's just a case of nerves right there." No it's not! He started him up with a backdoor slider on the outer edge. Then came inside with that slider that he check swung at, and he couldn't hold his swing. Then put him away with a fastball on the black about 4 inches off the plate. That's not nerves jackass that's called an excellent example of pitch execution by Joba Chamberlain. I don't know how much more I can take of the desecration of the color man by Dave Roberts. Stick to stealing bases. I've got a fever and the only prescription, is more Eckersley.
EXTRA EXTRA DAVID ORTIZ WILL BE ADDRESSING THE MEDIA ON SATURDAY. Although it's taken him just over a week it is time for this prolific slugger to come clean. I don't want to hear lies. I don't want to hear about your pseudo-cousin in El Dominica that gave you "boli." Give it to me straight up. If you took a needle, say it. If you took a supplement that you think was tainted, say it. And if you absolutely didn't do it then you need to come out and say it and then say why it took you a week to even deny the fact that you did anything at all.
Smoltzy, Smoltzy, Smoltzy. What are we going to do with you? You bust your ass to get back here and then you come out throwing like Chase Wright. You think its correctable. I'm not so sure anymore. You clearly weren't reading that piece that I wrote the other day that said something to the effect of MOVE THEM OFF THE FUCKING PLATE. You look like a nine year old throwing against Albert Pujols. And when Melky Cabrera looks like The Machine, we have a serious discrepancy. Thanks for the time and effort Smoltz but I think I've about had my fill now.
On a lighter note, Dustin Pedroia hit an "oppo-bomb" as he said in his post game interview for the first game in his career. OK I'm sorry but when he is hitting opposite field home runs you know there's a problem with your stadium. That stadium is going to be about as bad for the home run records as Winstrol and DecaDurabolin combined.
I would personally like to thank Kevin Youkilis for being the 2nd most versatile player in the game (1st Mark Derosa) in taking hold of left field. You didn't look pretty but you got the job done.
Why would anyone use, let alone call up, Billy Traber. This kid throws like Jonathan Lipnicki at the end of Jerry Maguire. You can see the ball the entire time he goes through his wind up and was absolutely no mystery on the mound. Bowden would have been a much more viable option. But at least Reddick is coming back to provide some sort of spark in our offense. VICTOR CAN'T DO IT ALONE PEOPLE.
I'm going to go out on a limb for tonights game and GUARANTEE victory behind Commander Kick Ass. I'm also going to say that within the first three innings he announces his presence with authority (Thank You Bull Durham) and plunks someone or at the very least sits them on their ass. They were way too comfortable in that box and that's going to change tonight. Time to sit back and let the Ace work. Good luck.
Stay Tuned
Ryan
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