Recovering Hick-story

So I finally caved and became a redneck, actually not referring to the obnoxious sunburn which makes my face look like Elmo, but being very Hickish and watching a bunch of cars fly around a circle for about 3.5 rain shortened hours. But being that I for some ungodly reason (most likely alcohol poisoning) am seeing 6 'u's on the keyboard right now I have just a brief story for you.

Here's the sitch (I realize I sound like Ron from "Kim Possible"):
As I was stumbling to my seat my future father-in-law receives a phone call. I don't think much of this because (a. it's not my phone, and b. the concept of a plane is far too complex for me at this point.) It happens to be his daughter (not the wife but the future sister-in-law) and she asks to talk to me.

Normally filled with some sort of innuendo or stupid blonde joke this phone call had my entire attention. Here goes the convo:
"Guess who died"
"WHOOOOOOO" *drunken stammer*
"Willy Mays"
"WHAT, WHO, ARE YOU F'N KIDDING ME?" *breaking into a cold sweat*
"Willy Mays, I just saw it on the internet."
"NO I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU, BUT I HAVE TO GO THERE'S A FLYOVER IN MY EAR." * irritated and dumfounded, quite the combo, I don't recommend*

Then I start a Veruca Salt like rant and make a complete jack ass of myself screaming, "My favorite baseball player just died, this week is a catastrophe." Not that any of the three prior deaths (Farrah, The King, and Star Search) are that important to me, but what kind of horse shit luck is going on in Hollywood?

After hearing my chants of dismay three people in front of me vigorously text on their Sprint phones...Sorry for the plug but I was at a NASCAR race. They go..."it wasn't Willy," almost in unison. Confuzzled (yes it IS a made up word, but completely explains my mood) they said "Billy Mays the pitch man."

Immediately I let out an exasperated sigh and belt out, THAT BITCH HAD ME GOING CRAZY! Probably not the best thing to say in front of the future father in Law and all of her family, but you live you learn. This just goes to show you how much the iconic ball players of the 50's and 60's can impact even someone who was born in the Flock of Seagulls generation.

Hopefully this isn't an omen of things to come, but it sure heard my Engines Started. *yes another hapless NASCAR reference.

Stay Tuned

Ryan