And the Award goes to…

Well I lied once again. I got preoccupied yesterday and decided not to write the awards for this year. So I apologize for everyone that was furiously clicking over to BOTN but I'm here so please stop all the threatening emails and phone calls.

AL MVP- Evan Longoria

This could be the year he hits .300 or damn close to it, but I think he's going to hit 40 dingers with over 120 RBIs. He is NOW the best 3^rd baseman in baseball and as phenomenal as he has been this is where he separates from the rest of the League.

NL MVP- Troy Tulowitzki

It's hard to go away from Albert Pujols in ANYTHING but at the end of last season Tulo put together such a rapport of solidity that I'm on his bandwagon. My projected statline is .315 34HR and 101 RBI. He's the leader of that team and the linchpin of that offense.

AL Cy Young- Jon Lester

I had him last year and I will continue to choose him until his arm falls off or he wins the award but I think he is going to solidify his position as the BEST lefty in baseball so Piss off Johan and Cliff Lee. If the Yankees have a problem with him then he's gotta have hella-stuff I think there will be 4, 20-game winners this year and he is one of them; Verlander, Halladay, Wainwright being the others. Look for 20-6 , 3.09 ERA, and 220K.

NL Cy Young- Roy Halladay

Pitching against the JV everyday and a pitcher in every game he's winning 24 games this year he'll have 20 W's by mid-August. I project him at 24-4, 2.65 ERA, 215 K.

AL Batting Title- Robinson Cano

As much as I hate to award ANYTHING to a Yankee, I think Robinson Cano will edge out Joe Mauer and Ichiro with a .360 avg. Also 85 RBI and 23 HR.

NL Batting Title- Albert Pujols

He is going to own 2 legs of the Triple Crown and I see pujols hitting around .370 this year with MUCH more IBB's than the year before. Line on El Hombre: .372 avg, 39 HR, 144 RBI

AL Rookie of the Year- Brian Matusz

He's one of the only Rookies that isn't really a rookie having a little taste of The Bigs' last year. I like him for 12 Wins. 12-8, 3.85 ERA, 150K.

NL Rookie of the Year- Jason Heyward

There is no getting around this one. Heyward is a BEAST. If Colby Rasmus was still classified as a rookie I'd have given him the nod but there is no one else unless they get called up during the season and has a breakout year that will challenge him. .295avg, 21 HR, 80 RBI

Comeback Player of the Year AL- Carlos Quentin

I don't know that you can actually classify last year as bad still hitting 20 HRs but that plantar fasciitis bout last year really crushed his season and I think he could contend for the MVP this year on a sneaky good White Sox team. .270avg, 37 HR, 110RBI

Comeback Player of the Year NL- Billy Wagner    

I was leaning towards Jay Bruce whom I think is going to have a MONSTER year, but Wagner is not a young player and he's still hitting triple digits on the gun in spring training. I like him to have 40+ saves for the Braves.

AL Sleeper- Matt Harrison

I've watched this kid dazzle me all spring on the hill for the Rangers. This lefty reminds me a LOT of John Danks and I think in their 4-slot in the rotation is going to win 14 games and have a sub-4 ERA.

NL Sleeper- Ryan Ludwick

Most guys would kill to have a down year with 22 HRs and 97 Ribbies. But with Holliday and Pujols being On-Base Machines getting on in front of him he's going to drive in more than 110 RBI and probably back around 30 HRs.

AL Stinker-Curtis Granderson

His peripheral numbers look great but the last 3 years his average has gone down precipitously (.302, .280, .249 respectively) and his performance against lefties would make him a platoon player at best if I were skipper. Think of all the lefties in the AL East (Lester, Matusz, Romero, Price, Rzepczynski, Tallet, and Eveland) that's just within our division. He might hit 25-30 HRs but his average will crush your team's average.

NL Stinker- Jason Bay

This is a stretch because when Jason Bay hit's balls out of the ballpark they usually go a long ways but Citi Field really played with the offensive numbers last year. I wouldn't be surprised if Bay hit less than 30 HRs.

Anything else you guys need or want shoot me an email or feel free to leave it in the comments.

 

Time to be Bold

Alright, alright, I've procrastinated enough. It's time for you all to see my Pre-Season Predictions for the upcoming 2010 baseball season. I'll be honest it took me a WHILE to figure out the AL East and the NL West but I'm going to go with my gut and how I was told baseball games are won; Pitching and Defense. Without further adieu:

AL East- Boston Red Sox (101-61)

Now before you cut my nuts off, listen up. Pitching and Defense is the way you are SUPPOSED to win ball games. The Red Sox have the best 1-5 Starting rotation in ALL of baseball. I really think Adrian Beltre is going to hit 30 ya-ya's and drive in very close to 100 runs. 3 guys on the same team that will win 16 + games will lead the Red Sox to the Promised land. If you think that 1/3 of the starts last year we started by John Smoltz, Brad Penny, and Daisuke MatsuSUCKA that would have put us around 100 wins if we won a handful of them. We now have John Lackey to pick up the slack and a defense that makes the Steeler's Steel Curtain scoff.

AL Central- Chicago White Sox (91-71)

I'm not buying into the Twins again ESPECIALLY without a closer. The Tiger's sold half their team and are for some reason unbeknownst to me are going to give starts to Dontrelle Willis, so they're out. Which leaves the Chi Sox as the victor in the Central. Everyone is forgetting about the impact a HEALTHY Carlos Quentin will have on their lineup. Not to mention a full year of Alex Rios (I've been saying that for three years though) and Juan Pierre will give them that Scott Podsednik aspect they had in 2005. Jake Peavy is a bona fide "ace" who will NOT suffer any setbacks other than a slight decrease in strikeouts from leaving the NL and couple that with Mark Buehrle, John Danks, and Gavin "AJ Burnett's mental makeup twin" Floyd you are looking at a VERY talented starting rotation. They have a deep talented lineup and they will COAST through to October.

AL West- Texas Rangers (92-70)

It's the year. It may be by default because the Angels lost their Ace and their leadoff hitter. So logic says they aren't going to be as good. The Mariners have the 2^nd Best 1-2 combo in baseball yet their 3-5 is who? But when Casey Kotchman is your number 3 hitter, you're primed for an offensive slump. The year that the Rangers do NOT falter down the stretch, and get into playoff baseball. They signed Rich Harden in the offseason and if healthy will really be an addition to Nolan Ryan's binky (the pitching staff). They had 3 young pitchers last year that got a SERIOUS dose of Major League Baseball and WILL pitch up to expectations.

AL Wildcard- Tampa Bay Rays (95-67) NOT THE YANKEES

Whoa, wait, did you misspell NYY with TBR? Nope I am potentially going out on a limb saying the Yankees are NOT a young team. They are going to need a DH going into game 2 of the season since Nick Johnson is holding down (I use that term loosely) that spot. Curtis Granderson is essentially a platoon player because he's about as existent against lefties as Tiger Woods is at the Celibacy Club. Javier Vazquez did well his first go 'round in the AL East and AJ Burnett is one more walk away from drinking bleach. Tampa has a GREAT lineup and their ever so sneaky pickup of Hank Blalock is going to pay major dividends as he sneaks into that DH role and Pat Burrell gets phased out. Their Rotation even without Kazmir is very deep and very efficient. Evan Longoria is going to have a MONSTER year. Carl Crawford and Carlos Pena are also playing for contracts…They're going to be in October and we're going to be in for another "Cinderella Story."

NL East- Philadelphia Phillies (96-66)

Too easy. Do I really have to hash into why they are going to win this division. No. Halladay is going to win 25 games…nuff said.

NL Central- St. Louis Cardinals (92-70)

Carpenter, Wainwright, Pujols and Holliday. They have the pitching, the offense and the Manager. The Reds could be a dark horse and the Brewers will be competitive but the Cards should win this division handily.

NL West- Colorado Rockies (90-72)

Sort of a No brainer. The Dodgers to me are a non-issue with NO PITCHING (Read: Vicente Padilla as your Opening Day starter) and a tumultuous divorce within the organization. The Giants STILL don't have enough offense, plenty of pitching but no one OTHER than Sandoval can rake and they won't bring up Buster Posey yet therefore they are still another bat and year away. The D'Backs are actually intriguing to me IF Brandon Webb were healthy but his shoulder seems to be nagging like crazy. The Rockies have a young lineup and a pitching staff that just got a little better with the return of Jeff Francis. Ubaldo Jimenez is a force to be reckoned with and they will win a hotly contested battle in the West.

NL Wildcard- Atlanta Braves (91-71)

It's Bobby Cox's last year and he has a talented pitching staff and a rookie in Jayson Heyward that is hailed as even better than Andruw Jones in his prime. Tim Hudson is back and healthy. Derek Lowe is good for 200 innings and young, fireballer Tommy Hanson are poised to do BIG things. It could be Chipper's last chance at one more ring and I think they have as good a chance as any.

AL Championship Series-

A rematch between the Sox and Rays that the Sox will win in 7. This series is going to be Epic.

NL Championship Series-

Phillies and the Cardinals and although Halladay will shine the Cardinals have better pitching and bullpen. 6 games.

World Series-

Pitching vs. Pitching. Deepest lineup vs. Pujols. The Sox have the edge in pitching and will shut down the Cardinals much like they did in 2004; 5 games

Champions-

Boston Red Sox

As previously stated, I've always been told that Pitching and defense win ball games and clearly my picks to win this year reflect that. Tomorrow I'll shoot you my picks for post-season awards (MVP, Cy Young etc.) and then in November when I'm farther off base than George Costanza you can rub it in my face.

Stay Tuned

Ryan

Cleaning out my Blog-set

I haven't written in a while and while I did have to hurry all around the New England region, plucking suicidal virgins off of bridges and other assortments of death inducing outcomes, but regardless, I'm back, let's get it. I'm going to be ALL over the map today as far as sports, more so that you can see the kind of knowledge I possess rather than just the one sided baseball side of my brain.

Joe Mauer. Joe Mauer. Joe Mauer. With reports coming out that he would prefer Boston to NY there were people legit sperming their khaki's to get a piece of the Batting Champion Franchise player. I'm here to say that deep down I would have loved seeing a perennial batting champ in our lineup but it was the right move for Minnesota even if in the year 2016 when he starts breaking down they are going to probably be kicking themselves because they have 3 more years and a no-trade clause that will keep him there through the declining years of a catcher's career.

I am honestly worried about Albert Pujols. I realize that I probably shouldn't be because he really has never missed any significant time when the regular season starts but is it just me or do these nagging injuries with the back, the elbow, the shoulder scream Mickey Mantle? Mantle probably would have broken an ass-load of records with a clean bill of health and it just seems that Pujols could be on a downward spiral with regards to injuries. Mind you, Mantle still put up Hall of Fame numbers, but the longevity of his career seemed to be shortened because of such…eerie thought.

Let the Josh Reddick hype machine start up and keep on rolling. This is classic Red Sox brass. Let's see Reddick for what he is here. A good little ball player (who has had a phenomenal spring) with OK plate discipline, a laser-rocket arm, and a thunderous Swing that ONLY Prince Fielder bests. They are building up his trade value because let's face it, this team is going to need a bat at some point to give the team that cog in their lineup for the future, be it Adrian Gonzalez or whomever else. I'm calling right now that Reddick among an assortment of other players will NOT be on the team at the end of the year.

The Man, The Myth, The Legend, Tim Tebow should be a New England Patriot. Bill Belichick spoke glowingly about him, and usually that means he's blowing smoke up the league's ass and wouldn't touch him with a 10 foot pole, but with this one and BB being friends with Urban Meyer I'm saying he really does want TT, not as a quarterback however. I say this with the mindset of thinking about when the Patriots play the Colts what is the biggest ex-factor in that game every time? It's NOT Reggie Wayne, it's Dallas Clark. He's a quick, reliable tight end with the will to succeed and is virtually indefensible with every defensive scheme put against them. Tim Tebow, to me, IS Dallas Clark. He's a tremendous athlete and has already said he will do WHATEVER any coach tells him to do. This team needs a back-up QB but we are not going to draft a backup QB in the 2^nd round that won't play for the next 8 years or so. We will take one of our 6^th or 7^th round picks and grab some schmo from Idaho and plug him into the system.

After pronouncing the Bruins dead just a week ago, I'm convinced they were reading BOTN and is trying to shove a hockey stick sideways directly up my ass. Because last night they were playing with such heart and such demeanor and is only 1 point away from the 6 spot in the playoffs now that I'm getting back on this bandwagon and they could really be on to something here. Tuukka Rask is a Top 3 goalie in the league, and solid goaltending will win this team playoff games if not a playoff series.

Have the Celtics looked more alive over the last week or so than they have at any point since their winning streak to start the season? I'm starting to regain confidence in this team as well and I would NOT want to face this team in the playoffs now. Paul Pierce has finally come back to being the player he professed that he was following the 2008 Championship and Garnett has been moving MUCH better. If those two can be back at atleast 75% of what they usually are when healthy they are a serious contender.

That's what I got, what do you got? Anything you need me to address? Shoot me an email. Facebook me or leave a comment on the blog, I'll get back to you lickety-split.

Stay Tuned

Ryan

Moments of Clarity

Clearly the need to listen to my dreams more often has come about. So when my imaginings say that I should bone Megan Fox I really should dial up her number because I am number 1 in the Office March Madness Pool, BOTNers. I really should study my mid-majors a little better because Ohio really slipped through the cracks for me this year but rest assured it will NOT happen again. But honestly how about those games yesterday? Buzzer Beaters, Upsets, Overtime, double overtime, and last but not least The Great White Hope. Jimmer Fredette is putting his Mormon knee in the NCAA's back and railing the ever-living piss out of it.

As much as the tournament has captivated my interest I will freely admit that at 7 o'clock last night I was not watching tournament basketball I was watching the Thrilla in Manilla or so it was advertised between the Bruins and Matt Cooke. I was so pumped up for this because this douche bag needed to get cold cocked like that guy on The Jersey Shore that Ronnie owned. "Come at me bro" yeah that one. And Cooke turtle like the labia that he is, and to top it off the Bruins played like absolute dog shit on a night where they were honoring the 1970 team, who I'm sure played with like compound fractures and ruptured testicles because that's what you do in hockey. But what's a 6 letter word for FUBAR'd: B-R-U-I-N-S.

I'm not going to lie to you when I heard about Ron Washington and his "one-time recreational" cocaine use, I called bullshit immediately. I mean honestly he looks like Richard Pryor with a mix of that hobo that lives just outside of Quincy Market. Seriously look at that mop on top. Someone honestly tell me that that hair-don't doesn't scream, "I'm Rick James, Bitch" all over it. *crickets* Didn't think so.

I'm way to preoccupied with the tournament to write any more today but if my scorching start to the tourney lasts throughout the weekend I'm going to be on a bender all weekend because I will be raking in some serious cashola. So I am Gone-orrhea.

Stay Tuned

Ryan

Living on the Edge…of insanity

So, I had a dream last night *cue inspirational music*, that if I changed my bracket today I would be getting a perfect bracket. And just to recap, I've put my exact same bracket on 3 different sites offering cash and or tangible prizes. So what do you think I did when I came in this morning I changed my mother fucking bracket is what I did. I was looking at minor tweaks, and then engaged in some email banter with a Boston Globe reporter, Joe Sullivan to be exact.

In an epiphany *cue spotlight* I decided a massive overhaul was sort of the best way to go. Before amending my bracket my final four consisted of Kansas, Kansas State, Kentucky, Baylor. Welp my friends, me here at Bottom of the Ninth, Flipped it on its ear. I changed 2 of my Final Four teams and one of them may shock, awe, even dismay you.

I had to take out Kentucky. As blasphemous as that sounds, Calipari seems to do a great job but he chokes under pressure. Not to mention his band of Freshmen seem to be coming a little tired of his shit. So overall Calipari is a douche bag. Freshmen in the tourney usually don't win it all, I don't care if your name is John Wall. So from the East Region if have switched to West Virginia. Da'Sean Butler is lighting shit up like Stephen Curry did two years ago, and I really don't see any reason for that to stop. Also his team is very good on defense, and seems to be more focused than Josh Beckett in the '07 playoffs. I like 'em, and now I have no choice but to love them because there's no turning back.

As ludicrous as that seemed that wasn't the difficult decision for the Final Four, the decision was BYU. BYU has a player in Jimmer Fredette that is going to be the next White American commodity in the NBA. I am banking on him and his Nations leading scorers to take BYU to the promised land or Indianapolis is the locals call it. It seems like a reach but BYU is the best shooting team in the country, they are phenomenal rebounders and adept at creating turnovers…Sounds like a recipe for success for me.

It took a while for me to be convinced that Jimmer (aside: Jimmer reminds me of Thome Mashes Taters on Twitter, a must follow) could lead them past KSU whom I was really in love with. I mean really like to the point of orgasm. But I changed it. FML If I'm wrong and watch Jimmer come out and break a fibula today in the first 2 minutes of the game and throw up a goose egg against Florida. But I'm riding a hunch and if my dream is correct. BOTN is going to blow up. Book it.

Stay Tuned

Ryan

March Madness

Everyone wants to know, who's my Final Four. I'll tell you. But not yet. I need to address this whole Blockbuster of ALL Blockbuster trades. I can't believe my ears. The ultimate baseball player on the trading block? Both sides are vehemently denying it so naturally I'm calling bullshit. Although Pujols is cheaper now, he would stand to command the same contract if not more that Alex Rodriguez signed 10 years 275mil. I guess I wasn't completely aware of my surroundings when I just found out that Ryan Howard and Albert Pujols are the same age. But as much of a behemoth as Ryan Howard is, Albert Pujols he is not. Howard would probably come at 5 mill less per year and if that is more within St. Louis budget than I could see a scenario where Albert Pujols was no longer a Cardinal. The X-Factor is that this could be sold to the fans because Ryan Howard is from the St. Louis area. I'd think long and hard if I were The Lou (as Nelly would call it) because what you'd be losing in sheer holy fuckness with Pujols you'd be gaining in tape measure shots from Howard.

Alright, You guys are CLEARLY moist with anticipation for my bracketology. I'll be honest I usually stay in the hunt until the Elite 8 and then my bracket gets turned over and done dry (see: Jennifer Aniston in Derailed). But this year I am determined, no DESTINED to smoke the rest of my office and claim the title as most knowledgeable and omnipotent sports predictor on the planet. Yeah, I might even buy myself a trophy with my winnings.

Let's look at my upsets in the first round.

{Giddy with anticipation}

In the Midwest Bracket: I don't consider the 8/9 game any sort of real upset but I'm going with the 9 Northern Iowa in that one. Also Georgia Tech over Oklahoma State.

In the West Bracket: Murray State is going to railroad Vanderbilt. Book it.

In the East Bracket: Washington is a sleeper this year and Marquette has no idea about the speeding locomotive coming at it. Get off the tracks when the train comes through.

In the South Bracket: I gave the nod to Louisville and Siena. Louisville and Cal is a toss-up and when in doubt go with a failed NBA coach. Siena has all their good players back from last year and they are poised to make noise this year. Purdue is garbage without Hummel.

{Sweat beading up on my forehead}

I have 2 double digit seeds getting to the Sweet 16 and that is Washington and Siena but I don't expect them to go further than that when they have to play the big boys.

{Heartbeat escalating}

My Final Four has Kansas vs Kansas State and Kentucky vs Baylor. I'm not sold on Duke and at some point throughout the tourney their sharpshooters are going to go ice cold and I don't think their defense is strong enough to get them all the way. Baylor has strong Guard play and good low post players and they are my sleeper for the trip to Indianapolis, but I don't think they can match the offensive firepower of Kentucky. Kansas will do the unthinkable and beat Kansas State for an unprecedented 4^th time during the season. So you're looking at a potential matchup of Perrenial Powerhouses. I'll take experience over youth and exuberance any day. Kansas is your National Champ.

You'd be wise to copy my bracket because I intend on raking money from Yahoo, ESPN, WEEI, and an awesome College Watch from the Boston Globe. Yup, get it, get it.

Stay Tuned,

Ryan

This is Blasphemy, This is madness!

While perusing the internet I came across this article, that chronicles what the Twins should do if they can't sign one, Joe Mauer. Obviously to ANYONE that knows baseball, if Mauer and the Twins can't come to an agreement he MUST be traded for Major League Ready talent and a guy or 2 that are on the cusp. Thinking about this, is it really no surprise that the Red Sox have not yet even OFFERED a contract to Victor Martinez? Also the Twins just lost their All-Star closer. They have needs now and going forward that would need to be addressed. So what I'm going to do is look at what it could/would take for Joe Mauer to come to The Hub.

It is no revelation that the Red Sox are waiting to see what happens with Mauer to tender a deal to Victor Martinez. Because let's face it, Mauer is the cream of the crop as far as Backstops go, and Martinez is 2^nd tier both offensively AND defensively. Joe Mauer would command a haul like NO OTHER on the trade market and there are FEW teams that can afford him financially and in terms of talent. In some related good news, the Yankees can't. They no longer have the talent in their farm system or the pieces on their Major League Roster. But don't let him get to free agency because money is something they do have.

In order for any baseball team to be successful in this day and age, you need to have a shutdown Closer and be solid up the middle. Being that the Twins were paying Joe Nathan 11.25 million they could probably afford a 9+ million dollar player at the same position to step in and do just as good a job. Enter Jonathan Papelbon. I am not Special Ed enough to think that you can center around a closer, even an All-Star closer. BUT lets say you add a Victor Martinez into the mix, then you're well on your way to a successful deal. You may think this is stupid to give two perennial All-Stars for the price of one but you're giving an aging catcher (I realize 31 isn't old but when you're a catcher in the big leagues that's like being 35 for any other position) and a Closer who's on a one year deal (expiring contracts!!!) that in the past has had some arm trouble, for a catcher that although seems like the perfect player has had a small injury history. Although this is a sweet deal I don't think its enough. You would have to give them one of your OF and/or starting pitching prospects to make this deal whole.

I'm also looking for a bullpen arm as well if I am Theo Epstein to bolster your bullpen. I would ask for EITHER Jon Rauch (more salary relief than anything for the Twins) or Matt Guerrier.

Now it comes down to the money. This is where it seems eerily do-able: (Salaries are for 2010 only)

Joe Mauer-16 million

Matt Guerrier- 1.475 million

Jon Rauch- 2.9 million

For

Jonathan Papelbon-9.35 million

Victor Martinez-7 million

(Insert Kalish, Reddick, Dubront, Pimentel, Fuentes) (Potentially 2 of these players)

Knowing that the Twins are a very frugal team you would have to give them cash considerations as well. I would look for something around a million which would give them another 650K to play around with at their own disposal. The Twins could try to experiment with Rauch or Guerrier as their closer but Paps would make them VERY solid at the back end of their pen and they also wouldn't be losing much in terms of offense either.

This may sound far-fetched, and to many extents it is. But if you have the utmost confidence in Daniel Bard, which I do, than I'm making this deal tonight or at least calling the Twins GM and telling him if you can't sign Mauer this deal is on the table, and it's on the table right now.

It's difficult for me to write this because I, more than anybody actually want Joe Mauer to stay in Minnesota. But the business side of baseball intrigues me and SOMEONE has to have the pieces to trade for Mauer, because there is no way on God's green Earth that the Twins would only get compensation picks for him.

Stay Tuned

Ryan

No More NoMah

How fitting that a groundbreaking story happens on a groundbreaking day here at BOTN. This is my 200^th Post and I've still got plenty left in my tank unlike Nomar. But let's hit it and quit it with the whole Nomar speech and thoughts in general.

Back in the 90's, fuck my life I don't like remembering back more than 10 years at a time, Nomar was one of the Holy Triumvirate of Shortstops. When all else was going wrong in Boston baseball he was going right. There was no doubt that in every year prior to 2004 he gave anything but 100% to the fans in Boston and to his teammates. But then a funny thing happened. Under a new regime on Yawkey Way Theo and Co. decided they wanted to become a better team. You all remember the trade that would have brought us the best/highest paid player in baseball not to mention Magglio Ordonez in his prime would have been part of the team as well. The only way you do this blockbuster is by getting rid of an icon.

Nomar was not happy about this, and it showed. For the 2004 season Nomar Garciaparra's disconnect from the Red Sox organization was nothing short of "Manny being Manny". Faking injuries, lying to the media, making pointed remarks about the ownership just to name a few were some of the underlying themes that ultimately lead to his demise as the Boston Cornerstone. As ballsy as the move seemed and as poorly as Faith Rewarded portrayed it, it was the right move in baseball, financially, and operationally. Everyone remembers the game that Jeter went flying into the stands supremely showcasing his upper-echelonness in the League. Where was Nomar? Sulking on the bench instead of playing against our most hated rival. Despite his comments in his press conference there is not a snowballs chance in hell he doesn't resent Theo and the Brass for dealing him to the Cubbies.

Throughout his whole Boston tenure Nomar wasn't a fan of the media, so much so that he put a line of Red Tape down in the clubhouse and if you crossed it not only would you be subject to a tongue lashing from Nomar himself, but he would also maim your wife, slash your tires and upon his next free second set your house on fire. Shit was serious. But what is utterly dismaying is that now he's going to succumb to his self professed "Dark Side" as an ESPN Baseball Analyst. I know its hard to step away from the game, but for someone that is going to make that big of a fuss for reporters doing their job to then go into the trenches with them…WEAK.

Let's tackle the rest of his career. There's always the infamous Sports Illustrated Cover. Though it will never be proven otherwise, I am 100% convinced that he used. Look at that friggin Lat muscle. Downright scary. I'm not going to preach that he's a shmuck for using because I'd use too if I knew it would make me millions of greenbacks. I'll say this Nomar can and could hit. But the only time in his career that you saw Nomar not on roids was in 2006 with the LA Dodgers 20 Dingers, 93 RBI and .303 BA and thereafter. His wiry frame could not support the rigors that come along with steroid use and you saw his body break down. It's tough and I wouldn't want to deal with those injuries myself but if I was told that I could bankroll like 75 million dollars in my lifetime I'd say "Stick it in me Bobby." (That didn't sound good did it?)

Synthetically enhanced or not however, he is just as much as influential in Boston baseball as Williams, Rice, Yaz and Peskey. He and Pedro Martinez were the Red Sox for a few seasons and there is not anyone in New England that wasn't captivated every time Nomar went all fidgety Freddy in the Batter's Box with his toe-tapping and glove adjusting. So, I don't think there is anywhere else that he can retire from other than Boston.

Don't misconstrue my thoughts on Nomar as though I view him as a villain. Because he's not. The Red Sox fans have a habit of making it look like the players that leave the organization are either traitors, shitbags, or just all around bad ball players. Nomar was none of the aforementioned group. At one time he was a surefire hall of famer whose status in Boston was only rivaled by Larry Bird. He was as fierce a competitor as any when he wanted to and I will never forget how enthralled I was when he was chasing a .400 batting average in a season.

So the question is: How do you honor him? The question isn't that simple. Some people think you should retire his number but you can't do that. He was not on the team for atleast 10 years (Team stipulation). What you should do is wait. Like you did with Johnny Pesky and see how he aides the organization going forward. That is when you can make a more educated decision. 15 years or so down the road is when if ever you make a decision like that.

Another Childhood Icon gone. Yikes.

Stay Tuned

Ryan

Springing into Action

It's been a long time, shouldn't have left you, without a dope beat to step to. Sorry everyone for the lack of posts last week. I was taking names and kicking ass like you would not believe on the grindstone and was busy getting my fill of Casey Kelly thus far in spring training (via Internet unfortunately). My thoughts are not as sparkling as his stats have looked so far however.

Maybe it's just me but just watching his delivery on the mound he strikes me as more of a Justin Masterson than a Zack Greinke (whom he compared himself to last year). I am actually inclined to think that this is just one more product of the Red Sox hype machine that is ready to foray into the Bigs. I mean no player is going to go balls to the wall in spring training but other than Mark Buerhle (who is now a number 2 mind you) can you name one ace that doesn't top 92 on the gun with regularity? Didn't think so.

John Lackey looked phenomenal in his debut. He was locating down in the zone and notching ground ball after groundball in the limited sample size. Beckett has looked primed for a big year. Lester although looking more like Casey Fossum is still the Ace but I think he's going to be pitching in the number 2 slot in the rotation. In order to show Beckett how much they value his services with regards to his contract negotiations, he's going to get the Opening Day start. And although Lester is my favorite Lefty in baseball, does anyone doubt Josh "Commander Kick Ass" Beckett in a big game. I don't.

I've got a mini version of Rumblings that hasn't come to pass in about 2 weeks so here ya go as well:

• To the Old man in the gym doing aerobics and calisthenics whom can't hold his flatulence in; I loathe you.
  
• Someone please tell me what Mark McGwire could possibly instruct Albert Pujols on. If anything on that swing gets changed I'm coming after you Shrek with a torch and pitchfork.
  
• Zack Greinke…flat out stud. Teams should probably just forfeit any day that he's slotted for the mound.
  
• Who's going to be the unlucky shmuck that's going to get enveloped by Heidi Watney's twat of career suicide this year?
  
• If I get one more 'Hair Club for Men' email I'm going to shoot myself. I'm bald by choice.
  
• If you don't know how Jason Heyward is close your eyes and listen to his batting practice session, kid flat out rakes.
  
• Law Abiding Citizen, if you haven't seen it, we're not friends.
  
• Is there any reason to think Roy Halladay who annually carved up the AL East, won't win 25+ games in the JV League?
  
• Anyone else think they signed Wilfork to trade him and maybe they pick up Jamal Williams who was recently cut from SD at a much cheaper price in order to make some sort of a free agent splash?
  
• It's almost time for Selection Sunday, anyone else already pretty much have their Final 4 picked out? *shyly raises hand*

• Ben Roethlisberger...The guy looks like a teddy bear but inside he's the White Tiger Woods.

Hopefully I was back on point for y'all.

Stay Tuned

Ryan

Farewell My Friend

As most of you know I am an ardent Nip/Tuck fan. Last night marked the final episode of the 7 season excursion full of sluts and tit jobs which labeled the show as, "The Most Provocative Show on Television".

It was both a sad and joyous occasion in my household because of this commencement. The mood was somber because this is my favorite television show of all time which in turn seems like someone has just shot down dog with an Apache Helicopter. I will now have to find a new vice, and its not going to be easy, especially for the Wednesday at 10PM time slot.

I'm not sure how I feel about what happened to Sean. I understand that he's always wanted more out of his life even though Christian sort of suckered him into the plastic surgery mantra. But it seemed a bit trite to have him take this little boy back to a foreign country with a one way ticket.

I love how things ended with Christian. It was sort of a "circle of life" moment. Things ended exactly how they began. Same lines and everything from the moment of the shows inception, when Christian met Kimber. Of course it would have been better if he snorted coke off this new chicks ass but beggars can't be choosers.

I feel a little bit betrayed at how they culminated Matt. Matt has always been, for lack of a better term, FUBAR'd (Fucked up beyond all recognition). I mean honestly this kid got his face pissed on by trannies, became a mime, started using meth all the while essentially having two fathers; this should be primed for some sort of colossal collapse. But no he sort of advertised his kid to get a woman that doesn't love him and that was that. Fuck you FX, Matt is the character you should have either continued to F up or killed off.

Julia was handled brilliantly. She's always been a flake so it seemed appropriate for her to just walk out of Sean and Christian's lives.

Liz Cruz was the most underappreciated, loyal employee I've ever seen. But things didn't seem to mesh well in the final episode for her. She became a partner and than that was pretty much it.

I guess I was overall disappointed in how it ended. For such an edgy show it ended sort of cookie cutter for me. The symbolism of Christian meeting this new Kimber-esque girl was nice although way too predictable. Matt, to me, is one of the most amazing characters on television with everything that goes wrong in his life and they just sort of gave him the metaphorical keys to a Bentley and let him ride off into the sun. The Jap that was in the final episode that died after a "monster orgasm" was a little corny because they tried to make it like that's what was happening to the McNamara/Troy partnership. Too cliché, you're better than that FX.

This show went on for 7 years. For the first 4 years this show was the shit, there was nothing better. When they brought in a midget whom tried and almost succeeded in taking Julia that's when it started getting a little awkward and it never fully recovered from that. When they moved out to Hollywood I thought it was going to bring new changes but it really didn't. I think for the last 3 years of the show I've only been an avid fan in hopes that it would somewhat return to form but that never really came to fruition, sort of like Shawn Kemp. They had me captivated with "The Carver" season (Season 2 for all of you that don't think I know my Nip/Tuck Shit), and I honestly thought at some point they would bring back Rhona Mitra because never has brutally maiming and killing been so utterly tantalizing.

But I will say that I have given 7 devoted years to you my friend and you will be sorely missed. We've had our ups and downs but you have always been a good person, bad influence, but a better friend there is none. Rest in Peace McNamara/Troy, you will live on vicariously through me as I go on a never ending Christian Troy-like rampage until I find a new program to cool my libido.

McNamara/Troy

July 22, 2003-March 3, 2010

Stay Tuned

Ryan

Yo Adrian

So with a weekend of no power because of a storm that cold-cocked us right in the kisser, I get re-acquainted with the internet only to find out that former teammate of Adrian Gonzalez, Jake Peavy, is lobbying hard for the first baseman to the White Sox front office. That's just a rumor, but you have got to be five-finger fucking me. I thought we were the only team that knew about Adrian Gonzalez, and that he is the type of player that you could build a franchise around. If the White Sox come at them with a pitching prospect or 2 and second year player Gordon Beckham and some other complimentary pieces, the Padres will have no choice but to say goodbye to their slugger. Shit, this doesn't sound good to me.

Ok, I realize that newspaper writers haven't necessarily had the best job in terms of job security lately but Brian MacPherson of the New Hampshire Union Leader put to print AND on his blog, that Dustin Pedroia should be moved out of his customary number 2-hole in the lineup into the number 3 slot to make room for the newly acquired Marco Scutaro. First off, after I stop laughing because it's evident that they will put ANYTHING in the paper, you need to realize what a number 3 hitter is. You're ALL-AROUND best hitter including Power, Average, and effectiveness. That is one of 2 players Youkilis or Martinez. I mean honestly, I admire that little pint-size Petunia but you want a guy in you're three hole that people will fear that you will take them deep (30+ HR minimum).

I realize that there are the times like in '08 when Pedroia hit clean-up and while he did an admirable job, over the long haul he's still not going to break 20 HRS in a season. Piss poor for a heart of the order guy, GREAT for a 2 hole.

The other reason that this seems to make NO sense whatsoever, is that if Brian knew anything about baseball he would realize that Terry Francona is all about balance. We have the ability on this team to go L-R-L almost all the way down the line. Terry Francona has said time and time again that not having two lefties back to back or two righties in sequential order is such a huge advantage when dealing with the opposition's bullpen. Here is what the lineup will look like Opening Day.

Ellsbury

Pedroia

Martinez

Youkilis

Ortiz

Beltre

Drew/Cameron

Cameron/Drew

Scutaro

Scutaro has said that he will hit anywhere as long as he's in the lineup, so he's your number 9 guy. Cameron and Drew become interchangeable depending on the pitcher (righty or lefty) and the fact that Drew thrived in the 8-hole doesn't hurt either. When facing a lefty you can peg JD into the 8-hole and when facing a righty he'll most likely hit 7^th.

C'mon man, New Hampshire is better than that drivel you're putting out there.

Stay Tuned

Ryan