Despicable

Once upon a time a bastard child was born in Lincoln, Nebraska with the given name Justin Louis Heath. He was born to a broken home that was encaged with drug abuse, a bout of polio, and a name change. Who is this man you ask? Justin "Joba" Chamberlain.

This flame throwing righty was drafted 41^st overall by the Yankees in '06 and probably rose a little too quickly through their ranks.

Two years later he is now thrust into the starting rotation without ever having won 10 games total in the minors. He has lost 4-5 mph on his fastball, and his slider is not as sharp since his transition from the bullpen. Chamberlain also had the misfortune of being mentored by a tyrant that made it known that, "if his pregnant wife was crowding the plate, he'd sit her on her ass." This is of course the 'oh so innocent' Roger Clemens.

While watching the installments of "The Empire" vs. "The Nation" over the last two years, I have seen nothing but controversy surrounding this bum. In one at-bat he threw over the head of Red Sox first sacker not once but twice, leading to the first (of what will probably be many) ejection of his career. In his next start against the Sox his "aim" was a tad better and he plunked Youkilis in the upper arm.

During this offseason he got arrested for a DWI. While being interrogated he proceeded to crack jokes about one of the most famous Bombers of all-time, Yogi Berra. This kid is a punk and needs to be taken down a few notches.

Tuesday night didn't start off well for him (4 R 1 IP) but then struck out 12 in his next 4 2/3 innings of work. With that many K's in his outing you'd think he'd have his control working, right? WRONG! After a long and ultimately productive (Base on Balls) by David Ortiz, Joba chose a new target. He drilled J-Bay right in the numbers, in what could not have been more blatantly obvious fashion.

Although a classless move, from a baseball players prospective this didn't make my DBoTN Award (Douche Bag of The Night). After he recorded the first two outs in the sixth, Girardi (Worst Yankee Skipper in history) went to the bullpen. The crowd gave him a Standing-O. It is then customary that you give a slight tip of the cap and exit into the dugout/clubhouse. This barbarian beat his chest (34 C) with his glove and then pointed to the crowd. Probably some horrific attempt at a shout out to the well bundled Spike Lee that was in attendance.

Wait a minute! He did what? Yes, you heard me.

When did a player with fewer wins than Bob Barker does sexual harassment lawsuits become bigger than the game of baseball? The Yankees already have one player that fitst that M.O. And his name is Alex Rodriguez, or B***h T**s if you will, and we see how things are going for him right now. *gives disapproving shake of head*

Pay your dues kid! You're far from the best pitcher in baseball and/or the best pitcher on your team for that matter. Jeter better show you how to be a "Yankee" quick because your parading around as a thug is going to be stopped quickly. If I can steal a line from Rocky IV, the next time Beckett is on the mound a subtle "I must break you" 96 mph heater will be in your number 4 hitters bread box. But what can you expect with a mother like this.

Yeesh, No denying who he belongs to.

Stay Tuned

Ryan