March Madness

Everyone wants to know, who's my Final Four. I'll tell you. But not yet. I need to address this whole Blockbuster of ALL Blockbuster trades. I can't believe my ears. The ultimate baseball player on the trading block? Both sides are vehemently denying it so naturally I'm calling bullshit. Although Pujols is cheaper now, he would stand to command the same contract if not more that Alex Rodriguez signed 10 years 275mil. I guess I wasn't completely aware of my surroundings when I just found out that Ryan Howard and Albert Pujols are the same age. But as much of a behemoth as Ryan Howard is, Albert Pujols he is not. Howard would probably come at 5 mill less per year and if that is more within St. Louis budget than I could see a scenario where Albert Pujols was no longer a Cardinal. The X-Factor is that this could be sold to the fans because Ryan Howard is from the St. Louis area. I'd think long and hard if I were The Lou (as Nelly would call it) because what you'd be losing in sheer holy fuckness with Pujols you'd be gaining in tape measure shots from Howard.

Alright, You guys are CLEARLY moist with anticipation for my bracketology. I'll be honest I usually stay in the hunt until the Elite 8 and then my bracket gets turned over and done dry (see: Jennifer Aniston in Derailed). But this year I am determined, no DESTINED to smoke the rest of my office and claim the title as most knowledgeable and omnipotent sports predictor on the planet. Yeah, I might even buy myself a trophy with my winnings.

Let's look at my upsets in the first round.

{Giddy with anticipation}

In the Midwest Bracket: I don't consider the 8/9 game any sort of real upset but I'm going with the 9 Northern Iowa in that one. Also Georgia Tech over Oklahoma State.

In the West Bracket: Murray State is going to railroad Vanderbilt. Book it.

In the East Bracket: Washington is a sleeper this year and Marquette has no idea about the speeding locomotive coming at it. Get off the tracks when the train comes through.

In the South Bracket: I gave the nod to Louisville and Siena. Louisville and Cal is a toss-up and when in doubt go with a failed NBA coach. Siena has all their good players back from last year and they are poised to make noise this year. Purdue is garbage without Hummel.

{Sweat beading up on my forehead}

I have 2 double digit seeds getting to the Sweet 16 and that is Washington and Siena but I don't expect them to go further than that when they have to play the big boys.

{Heartbeat escalating}

My Final Four has Kansas vs Kansas State and Kentucky vs Baylor. I'm not sold on Duke and at some point throughout the tourney their sharpshooters are going to go ice cold and I don't think their defense is strong enough to get them all the way. Baylor has strong Guard play and good low post players and they are my sleeper for the trip to Indianapolis, but I don't think they can match the offensive firepower of Kentucky. Kansas will do the unthinkable and beat Kansas State for an unprecedented 4^th time during the season. So you're looking at a potential matchup of Perrenial Powerhouses. I'll take experience over youth and exuberance any day. Kansas is your National Champ.

You'd be wise to copy my bracket because I intend on raking money from Yahoo, ESPN, WEEI, and an awesome College Watch from the Boston Globe. Yup, get it, get it.

Stay Tuned,

Ryan

This is Blasphemy, This is madness!

While perusing the internet I came across this article, that chronicles what the Twins should do if they can't sign one, Joe Mauer. Obviously to ANYONE that knows baseball, if Mauer and the Twins can't come to an agreement he MUST be traded for Major League Ready talent and a guy or 2 that are on the cusp. Thinking about this, is it really no surprise that the Red Sox have not yet even OFFERED a contract to Victor Martinez? Also the Twins just lost their All-Star closer. They have needs now and going forward that would need to be addressed. So what I'm going to do is look at what it could/would take for Joe Mauer to come to The Hub.

It is no revelation that the Red Sox are waiting to see what happens with Mauer to tender a deal to Victor Martinez. Because let's face it, Mauer is the cream of the crop as far as Backstops go, and Martinez is 2^nd tier both offensively AND defensively. Joe Mauer would command a haul like NO OTHER on the trade market and there are FEW teams that can afford him financially and in terms of talent. In some related good news, the Yankees can't. They no longer have the talent in their farm system or the pieces on their Major League Roster. But don't let him get to free agency because money is something they do have.

In order for any baseball team to be successful in this day and age, you need to have a shutdown Closer and be solid up the middle. Being that the Twins were paying Joe Nathan 11.25 million they could probably afford a 9+ million dollar player at the same position to step in and do just as good a job. Enter Jonathan Papelbon. I am not Special Ed enough to think that you can center around a closer, even an All-Star closer. BUT lets say you add a Victor Martinez into the mix, then you're well on your way to a successful deal. You may think this is stupid to give two perennial All-Stars for the price of one but you're giving an aging catcher (I realize 31 isn't old but when you're a catcher in the big leagues that's like being 35 for any other position) and a Closer who's on a one year deal (expiring contracts!!!) that in the past has had some arm trouble, for a catcher that although seems like the perfect player has had a small injury history. Although this is a sweet deal I don't think its enough. You would have to give them one of your OF and/or starting pitching prospects to make this deal whole.

I'm also looking for a bullpen arm as well if I am Theo Epstein to bolster your bullpen. I would ask for EITHER Jon Rauch (more salary relief than anything for the Twins) or Matt Guerrier.

Now it comes down to the money. This is where it seems eerily do-able: (Salaries are for 2010 only)

Joe Mauer-16 million

Matt Guerrier- 1.475 million

Jon Rauch- 2.9 million

For

Jonathan Papelbon-9.35 million

Victor Martinez-7 million

(Insert Kalish, Reddick, Dubront, Pimentel, Fuentes) (Potentially 2 of these players)

Knowing that the Twins are a very frugal team you would have to give them cash considerations as well. I would look for something around a million which would give them another 650K to play around with at their own disposal. The Twins could try to experiment with Rauch or Guerrier as their closer but Paps would make them VERY solid at the back end of their pen and they also wouldn't be losing much in terms of offense either.

This may sound far-fetched, and to many extents it is. But if you have the utmost confidence in Daniel Bard, which I do, than I'm making this deal tonight or at least calling the Twins GM and telling him if you can't sign Mauer this deal is on the table, and it's on the table right now.

It's difficult for me to write this because I, more than anybody actually want Joe Mauer to stay in Minnesota. But the business side of baseball intrigues me and SOMEONE has to have the pieces to trade for Mauer, because there is no way on God's green Earth that the Twins would only get compensation picks for him.

Stay Tuned

Ryan

No More NoMah

How fitting that a groundbreaking story happens on a groundbreaking day here at BOTN. This is my 200^th Post and I've still got plenty left in my tank unlike Nomar. But let's hit it and quit it with the whole Nomar speech and thoughts in general.

Back in the 90's, fuck my life I don't like remembering back more than 10 years at a time, Nomar was one of the Holy Triumvirate of Shortstops. When all else was going wrong in Boston baseball he was going right. There was no doubt that in every year prior to 2004 he gave anything but 100% to the fans in Boston and to his teammates. But then a funny thing happened. Under a new regime on Yawkey Way Theo and Co. decided they wanted to become a better team. You all remember the trade that would have brought us the best/highest paid player in baseball not to mention Magglio Ordonez in his prime would have been part of the team as well. The only way you do this blockbuster is by getting rid of an icon.

Nomar was not happy about this, and it showed. For the 2004 season Nomar Garciaparra's disconnect from the Red Sox organization was nothing short of "Manny being Manny". Faking injuries, lying to the media, making pointed remarks about the ownership just to name a few were some of the underlying themes that ultimately lead to his demise as the Boston Cornerstone. As ballsy as the move seemed and as poorly as Faith Rewarded portrayed it, it was the right move in baseball, financially, and operationally. Everyone remembers the game that Jeter went flying into the stands supremely showcasing his upper-echelonness in the League. Where was Nomar? Sulking on the bench instead of playing against our most hated rival. Despite his comments in his press conference there is not a snowballs chance in hell he doesn't resent Theo and the Brass for dealing him to the Cubbies.

Throughout his whole Boston tenure Nomar wasn't a fan of the media, so much so that he put a line of Red Tape down in the clubhouse and if you crossed it not only would you be subject to a tongue lashing from Nomar himself, but he would also maim your wife, slash your tires and upon his next free second set your house on fire. Shit was serious. But what is utterly dismaying is that now he's going to succumb to his self professed "Dark Side" as an ESPN Baseball Analyst. I know its hard to step away from the game, but for someone that is going to make that big of a fuss for reporters doing their job to then go into the trenches with them…WEAK.

Let's tackle the rest of his career. There's always the infamous Sports Illustrated Cover. Though it will never be proven otherwise, I am 100% convinced that he used. Look at that friggin Lat muscle. Downright scary. I'm not going to preach that he's a shmuck for using because I'd use too if I knew it would make me millions of greenbacks. I'll say this Nomar can and could hit. But the only time in his career that you saw Nomar not on roids was in 2006 with the LA Dodgers 20 Dingers, 93 RBI and .303 BA and thereafter. His wiry frame could not support the rigors that come along with steroid use and you saw his body break down. It's tough and I wouldn't want to deal with those injuries myself but if I was told that I could bankroll like 75 million dollars in my lifetime I'd say "Stick it in me Bobby." (That didn't sound good did it?)

Synthetically enhanced or not however, he is just as much as influential in Boston baseball as Williams, Rice, Yaz and Peskey. He and Pedro Martinez were the Red Sox for a few seasons and there is not anyone in New England that wasn't captivated every time Nomar went all fidgety Freddy in the Batter's Box with his toe-tapping and glove adjusting. So, I don't think there is anywhere else that he can retire from other than Boston.

Don't misconstrue my thoughts on Nomar as though I view him as a villain. Because he's not. The Red Sox fans have a habit of making it look like the players that leave the organization are either traitors, shitbags, or just all around bad ball players. Nomar was none of the aforementioned group. At one time he was a surefire hall of famer whose status in Boston was only rivaled by Larry Bird. He was as fierce a competitor as any when he wanted to and I will never forget how enthralled I was when he was chasing a .400 batting average in a season.

So the question is: How do you honor him? The question isn't that simple. Some people think you should retire his number but you can't do that. He was not on the team for atleast 10 years (Team stipulation). What you should do is wait. Like you did with Johnny Pesky and see how he aides the organization going forward. That is when you can make a more educated decision. 15 years or so down the road is when if ever you make a decision like that.

Another Childhood Icon gone. Yikes.

Stay Tuned

Ryan

Springing into Action

It's been a long time, shouldn't have left you, without a dope beat to step to. Sorry everyone for the lack of posts last week. I was taking names and kicking ass like you would not believe on the grindstone and was busy getting my fill of Casey Kelly thus far in spring training (via Internet unfortunately). My thoughts are not as sparkling as his stats have looked so far however.

Maybe it's just me but just watching his delivery on the mound he strikes me as more of a Justin Masterson than a Zack Greinke (whom he compared himself to last year). I am actually inclined to think that this is just one more product of the Red Sox hype machine that is ready to foray into the Bigs. I mean no player is going to go balls to the wall in spring training but other than Mark Buerhle (who is now a number 2 mind you) can you name one ace that doesn't top 92 on the gun with regularity? Didn't think so.

John Lackey looked phenomenal in his debut. He was locating down in the zone and notching ground ball after groundball in the limited sample size. Beckett has looked primed for a big year. Lester although looking more like Casey Fossum is still the Ace but I think he's going to be pitching in the number 2 slot in the rotation. In order to show Beckett how much they value his services with regards to his contract negotiations, he's going to get the Opening Day start. And although Lester is my favorite Lefty in baseball, does anyone doubt Josh "Commander Kick Ass" Beckett in a big game. I don't.

I've got a mini version of Rumblings that hasn't come to pass in about 2 weeks so here ya go as well:

• To the Old man in the gym doing aerobics and calisthenics whom can't hold his flatulence in; I loathe you.
  
• Someone please tell me what Mark McGwire could possibly instruct Albert Pujols on. If anything on that swing gets changed I'm coming after you Shrek with a torch and pitchfork.
  
• Zack Greinke…flat out stud. Teams should probably just forfeit any day that he's slotted for the mound.
  
• Who's going to be the unlucky shmuck that's going to get enveloped by Heidi Watney's twat of career suicide this year?
  
• If I get one more 'Hair Club for Men' email I'm going to shoot myself. I'm bald by choice.
  
• If you don't know how Jason Heyward is close your eyes and listen to his batting practice session, kid flat out rakes.
  
• Law Abiding Citizen, if you haven't seen it, we're not friends.
  
• Is there any reason to think Roy Halladay who annually carved up the AL East, won't win 25+ games in the JV League?
  
• Anyone else think they signed Wilfork to trade him and maybe they pick up Jamal Williams who was recently cut from SD at a much cheaper price in order to make some sort of a free agent splash?
  
• It's almost time for Selection Sunday, anyone else already pretty much have their Final 4 picked out? *shyly raises hand*

• Ben Roethlisberger...The guy looks like a teddy bear but inside he's the White Tiger Woods.

Hopefully I was back on point for y'all.

Stay Tuned

Ryan

Farewell My Friend

As most of you know I am an ardent Nip/Tuck fan. Last night marked the final episode of the 7 season excursion full of sluts and tit jobs which labeled the show as, "The Most Provocative Show on Television".

It was both a sad and joyous occasion in my household because of this commencement. The mood was somber because this is my favorite television show of all time which in turn seems like someone has just shot down dog with an Apache Helicopter. I will now have to find a new vice, and its not going to be easy, especially for the Wednesday at 10PM time slot.

I'm not sure how I feel about what happened to Sean. I understand that he's always wanted more out of his life even though Christian sort of suckered him into the plastic surgery mantra. But it seemed a bit trite to have him take this little boy back to a foreign country with a one way ticket.

I love how things ended with Christian. It was sort of a "circle of life" moment. Things ended exactly how they began. Same lines and everything from the moment of the shows inception, when Christian met Kimber. Of course it would have been better if he snorted coke off this new chicks ass but beggars can't be choosers.

I feel a little bit betrayed at how they culminated Matt. Matt has always been, for lack of a better term, FUBAR'd (Fucked up beyond all recognition). I mean honestly this kid got his face pissed on by trannies, became a mime, started using meth all the while essentially having two fathers; this should be primed for some sort of colossal collapse. But no he sort of advertised his kid to get a woman that doesn't love him and that was that. Fuck you FX, Matt is the character you should have either continued to F up or killed off.

Julia was handled brilliantly. She's always been a flake so it seemed appropriate for her to just walk out of Sean and Christian's lives.

Liz Cruz was the most underappreciated, loyal employee I've ever seen. But things didn't seem to mesh well in the final episode for her. She became a partner and than that was pretty much it.

I guess I was overall disappointed in how it ended. For such an edgy show it ended sort of cookie cutter for me. The symbolism of Christian meeting this new Kimber-esque girl was nice although way too predictable. Matt, to me, is one of the most amazing characters on television with everything that goes wrong in his life and they just sort of gave him the metaphorical keys to a Bentley and let him ride off into the sun. The Jap that was in the final episode that died after a "monster orgasm" was a little corny because they tried to make it like that's what was happening to the McNamara/Troy partnership. Too cliché, you're better than that FX.

This show went on for 7 years. For the first 4 years this show was the shit, there was nothing better. When they brought in a midget whom tried and almost succeeded in taking Julia that's when it started getting a little awkward and it never fully recovered from that. When they moved out to Hollywood I thought it was going to bring new changes but it really didn't. I think for the last 3 years of the show I've only been an avid fan in hopes that it would somewhat return to form but that never really came to fruition, sort of like Shawn Kemp. They had me captivated with "The Carver" season (Season 2 for all of you that don't think I know my Nip/Tuck Shit), and I honestly thought at some point they would bring back Rhona Mitra because never has brutally maiming and killing been so utterly tantalizing.

But I will say that I have given 7 devoted years to you my friend and you will be sorely missed. We've had our ups and downs but you have always been a good person, bad influence, but a better friend there is none. Rest in Peace McNamara/Troy, you will live on vicariously through me as I go on a never ending Christian Troy-like rampage until I find a new program to cool my libido.

McNamara/Troy

July 22, 2003-March 3, 2010

Stay Tuned

Ryan

Yo Adrian

So with a weekend of no power because of a storm that cold-cocked us right in the kisser, I get re-acquainted with the internet only to find out that former teammate of Adrian Gonzalez, Jake Peavy, is lobbying hard for the first baseman to the White Sox front office. That's just a rumor, but you have got to be five-finger fucking me. I thought we were the only team that knew about Adrian Gonzalez, and that he is the type of player that you could build a franchise around. If the White Sox come at them with a pitching prospect or 2 and second year player Gordon Beckham and some other complimentary pieces, the Padres will have no choice but to say goodbye to their slugger. Shit, this doesn't sound good to me.

Ok, I realize that newspaper writers haven't necessarily had the best job in terms of job security lately but Brian MacPherson of the New Hampshire Union Leader put to print AND on his blog, that Dustin Pedroia should be moved out of his customary number 2-hole in the lineup into the number 3 slot to make room for the newly acquired Marco Scutaro. First off, after I stop laughing because it's evident that they will put ANYTHING in the paper, you need to realize what a number 3 hitter is. You're ALL-AROUND best hitter including Power, Average, and effectiveness. That is one of 2 players Youkilis or Martinez. I mean honestly, I admire that little pint-size Petunia but you want a guy in you're three hole that people will fear that you will take them deep (30+ HR minimum).

I realize that there are the times like in '08 when Pedroia hit clean-up and while he did an admirable job, over the long haul he's still not going to break 20 HRS in a season. Piss poor for a heart of the order guy, GREAT for a 2 hole.

The other reason that this seems to make NO sense whatsoever, is that if Brian knew anything about baseball he would realize that Terry Francona is all about balance. We have the ability on this team to go L-R-L almost all the way down the line. Terry Francona has said time and time again that not having two lefties back to back or two righties in sequential order is such a huge advantage when dealing with the opposition's bullpen. Here is what the lineup will look like Opening Day.

Ellsbury

Pedroia

Martinez

Youkilis

Ortiz

Beltre

Drew/Cameron

Cameron/Drew

Scutaro

Scutaro has said that he will hit anywhere as long as he's in the lineup, so he's your number 9 guy. Cameron and Drew become interchangeable depending on the pitcher (righty or lefty) and the fact that Drew thrived in the 8-hole doesn't hurt either. When facing a lefty you can peg JD into the 8-hole and when facing a righty he'll most likely hit 7^th.

C'mon man, New Hampshire is better than that drivel you're putting out there.

Stay Tuned

Ryan

All Century Team

I'm going to freely, and openly admit that I watch an unhealthy amount of MLBTV. Lately with the season not yet underway they have played a LOT of old World Series games and biopics of different players. But what caught my eye was all the "All-Century Team" coverage. It got me thinking, I'd like to make a roster, not a 25 man because the 25 man roster includes relievers but 20 man including all the positional players, a DH, 5 starters, a closer, a collective OF (not positional) and 5 Bench players. I'm not going to include "relievers" other than the closer because that is a relatively new practice and it just doesn't seem right. You've got to have a Backup catcher, and the right players in order to fill out your 5 man bench that you would actually need for a season. It's actually pretty difficult and fun, you should try it!

Starting Lineup-

1. SS- Ernie Banks
   
2. LF- Ted Williams
   
3. CF- Willie Mays
   
4. DH- Babe Ruth
   
5. RF-Mikey Mantle
   
6. 1B-Lou Gehrig
   
7. 3B-Mike Schmidt
   
8. C-Johnny Bench
   
9. 2B Rod Carew
   

Starting Staff-

1. Bob Gibson
   
2. Walter Johnson
   
3. Christy Matthewson
   
4. Pedro Martinez
   
5. Randy Johnson
   

Closer-

1. Mariano Rivera
   

Bench-

1. Albert Pujols
   
2. Hank Aaron
   
3. Carlton Fisk
   
4. Cal Ripken Jr
   
5. Stan Musial
   

Alright, look at it, study it, take it all in. OK let's dissect. Shortstop was between Banks, Ripken, and Wagner for me. But Banks gets the nod in the starting lineup because Ripken has the SS/3B versatility off the bench.

Is anyone going to honestly argue any of my starting Outfielders. You have "The Greatest Player That's Ever Lived" (Mays), "The White Willie" as we'll call him (Mantle), and "The Greatest Hitter That's Ever Lived" in Ted Williams, there is no debate.

Was there ANY other logical choice for DH? You say home run or baseball, and what do most people think? Babe Ruth.

It was a toss-up for me between Gehrig and Pujols. A lot of people may be saying how could you leave off Killebrew or McCovey. I'll say this, either of these two men could be in Pujols spot, but the kind of plate command that Albert has puts him ahead of them (batting avg. aside) for me, even if he doesn't have the stats (yet).

Mike Schmidt to me was the most complete third baseman in the history of the game. George Brett and Brooks Robinson are close seconds but there is no one better than Mike Schmidt.

When you think of catchers or on-field leaders the quintessential player for that description was Johnny Bench from his inception into the league. His backups were between Berra, Fisk, and Ivan Rodriguez. I want defensive catcher's here people so Mike Piazza doesn't make the cut.

Second baseman was Rod Carew, there is no debate on this.

If I want any one pitcher in history to start one game it's Bob Gibson. There's my ace. When a dirtbag like Ty Cobb (just missed getting on the list by the way) says he was "the most powerful arm ever to be let loose in a ball park" Walter Johnson HAS to be my number 2. Christy Matthewson although most people I know never saw him he was the real deal and my number 3. Can anyone name a more dominating pitcher than Pedro Martinez on the Red Sox and Expos, I mean this guy flat out, outclassed everyone. Randy Johnson is the scariest mother fucker to EVER step onto the mound and he has to be on my list. I'm taking a leap leaving off names like Ryan, Koufax, Clemens, Carlton, Spahn and Marichal but can you really lose with ANY of these guys?

Closer, one syllable, Mo. Good 'nuff?

The TRUE all time Homerun King just barely makes it onto the bench being interchangeable with Ted Williams for me. Albert is a Gold Glover at the corner along with being one of the greatest hitters of all time. Cal is the 2^nd coming of the Iron Man and was a tremendous defensive player at third and Short. Fisk has to be the second person I would let run my pitching staff behind Bench. Stan "The Man" is one of only 3 players in baseball history to have over 6000 total bases in a career (The others? Mays and Aaron).

There you have it folks…What does yours look like?

Stay Tuned

Ryan