Alright, I'll gladly take the verbal beating that I have coming to me after not posting for damn near a month. But I'm hoping that this post at least nullify the urge to cut off my blogging balls for at least a little while. Now being that the economy is in shambles and I clearly don't wipe my ass with crisp 100 dollar bills, I need to find a way to make a little extra money on the side, and I was a little tired from selling myself on the corner from the night before that I thought painting would be a relaxing alternative.
So bright and early on Sunday morning I'm slapping the latex on (wow that doesn't sound right) a door and frame. Because the door has to stay open, I was basically sitting in their house the entire time, thus being able to overhear (not eavesdrop because I'm 100% focused on painting) everything going on in the living room. Let me preface by saying, the reason that I'm painting/installing this door is because the guy broke his leg in like 5 places and is hobbling around on crutches. Back to the Present. I recognize a familiar theme song on the television and I couldn't quite put my finger on it until the shows tagline came on, let's see if you can guess before the tagline: "You say you want to be a player. But your wheels ain't fly. You gotta hit us up, to get a pimped out ride. PIMP MY RIDE!!!" I'll say first, 2004 called and they want their 1992 Celica back. Second, does Xzibit do anything anymore? Third, are there no more cars in the world to fix 'cause I have a 98 Grand Am that could use a little paint, can you throw a brotha a bone?
It wasn't really the fact that they were watching this show it was the commentary and silly banter between the homeowners that came along with it. At one point I think I heard: "Is there ever any white people on this show? Or at least a white person that isn't trying to be black?" This induced a loud snort but I played it off as a "snough" or sneeze cough that sort of sounded like I was hacking up an anvil. But could that not be more true?
The second thing was the SLAYING of Xzibit. "God damn, this guy looks like Scooby Doo with Corn rows." I actually had to get up and go outside and laugh my ass off because that is probably the most accurate thing I've ever heard, and the fact that they were watching a show that shows music videos and blasts X's name everywhere all over the show and they had no idea who he is cracks me up.
The last thing, was this guy who is clearly a car guy as evidenced by the Fast and the Furious type car sitting in the garage I was drooling over. He made a comment about how "those wheels are garbage, but I think we should put those doors on your (his wife's) car." Then she made some sort of snide remark and you could hear him run-crutching around to try to catch her but she was just running away. And I was like, what kind of cold heartless woman does that to a clearly broken man. Woman needs to be taught a lesson. Straight crutch to the crotch sounds about right, k thanks.
